When we are writing, we are usually alone, even if we are in a crowd of Starbuck sippers. That’s an example of physical aloneness.

But there’s an even greater aloneness. It’s the aloneness that comes with having no way, and no one who can tell us what is “right” and keep-able, and what is “wrong” and cut-able.

We are alone when telling our story, It’s never been told before. We might have alpha and beta readers; we may have design and copy editors who can help.

But they cannot feel for us when something fits, when something is right for our story. There’s no one who has been exactly where we are going. We alone can determine, “Is this right?”

So the question is, How do we recognize when something is right- or not?

For me, the feeling of “rightness” is a kind of soft, subtle thud in the heart/solar plexus of my body. The feeling I have when someone is speaking heart truth. The feeling I have when I have finished what I want to say. A feeling of completeness.

With my novel-in-progress, Whatever It Takes, I started with an idea of a shy artistic girl who learned how to show up and speak up for herself. She had lots of barriers to that, so there was plenty of conflict built in. Following that story line was satisfying for several months of writing. That part was releasing.

But as time went on, I had the felt sense that it was missing something-not quite “right.” The character’s life changes needed to matter more.

So, I asked myself, what would really matter more than one person’s triumph over her ancient imprisonments? My answer: One person trying to do something beneficial for another and receiving something beneficial and growing in the process.

My next question was, what relationship would show that? A mother and child. Now that grabbed my heart! I felt full, and happy, and charged up.

But did I have the life experience for that- to follow the edict of “write what you know”? As a therapist, I’ve had deep experiences of helping parents and children heal their hearts from disconnections. And as a mother, I’ve had my share of temporary disconnections and reconnections with my own children.

So, writing about a mother and son and how they healed their hurts was compelling to me. It felt right.

I’m interested in YOUR thoughts. Let’s have a conversation. Tell me about how you recognize and cultivate your inner sense of what’s “right.” Or, perhaps about your struggling to find that sense.